Hurrying to Nora's house, Pito called all his llama friends and called an emergency meeting of the Tired of Nora's Bossiness Support Group. That was the original name of the Llama Retribution Squad.
The llamas assembled in front of Nora's house, much like you're assembling in this auditorium. They listened to the problem and then snorted. They thought Pito was calling them together to complain about something Nora did.
It was while they were arguing over who's turn it was to bring the wheat grass milkshakes, it was totally Paco's turn, that they heard a noise coming from the bushes.
Nora suddenly appeared in the brush and she yelled at Pito, "Hey you stupid llama! Why did you leave me in the ditch?"
Pito looked confused. He hadn't left Nora in the ditch, she'd been gone.
He held his injured foot with one of his good feet and looked at Nora. Something about her looked different, but he couldn't quite figure it out.
"You were gone," Pito finally said.
"I was hiding from the cute duckling," Nora told him. "He looked dangerous."
Pito frowned. "Oh. Well, I'm glad you made it home safe."
"Me too," Nora said, but Pito noticed her mouth didn't move when she spoke. And while her face looked like it always did, her body was white, not the golden it normally was.
Before he could ask about it though, Nora shouted to the rest of the llamas, "Who wants a wheat grass milkshake?"
In the chaos of the moment, she disappeared into the house with the herd.
Until next time, be ever attentive!
Monday, May 16, 2016
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Orientation, Part 3
Pito hurried Nora from the restaurant, somehow managed to get her on his motorcycle, and screeched out of the parking lot. He was torn, he knew he should follow the duckling and get to the Evil Emperoress Elsie, but he also knew he needed to get Nora to safety before she found out who was behind the attack and made things worse by going to talk to Elsie.
He was certain getting Nora home was the best idea. Once there he could call his fellow llamas and they could figure out what to do.
"Hey Pito, what's with the grocery list?" Nora asked suddenly.
"What list?" Pito asked, hoping she didn't have Elsie's list.
"This one," Nora said as she shoved it in front of Pito's face.
Unfortunately, Pito was still driving his motorcycle and when she shoved the paper in his face, he began to swerve. He could hear a semi coming at them and just as Nora screamed he swerved back into his own lane, over the edge, and into a ditch.
When he looked up, the duckling was standing there. Laughing.
Pito was mad. He'd crashed his motorcycle and had hit his foot on a rock. Now his toe was hurting. A lot. And the duckling laughed.
"Hey, that's not funny. I hurt my toe," Pito yelled up at him.
"Oh, sorry," the duckling called back. "Nora was just funny flailing like that."
Pito shrugged in agreement. He turned to help Nora from the ditch, but...
SHE WAS GONE!!!
Tune in next time! Until then, be ever attentive!
He was certain getting Nora home was the best idea. Once there he could call his fellow llamas and they could figure out what to do.
"Hey Pito, what's with the grocery list?" Nora asked suddenly.
"What list?" Pito asked, hoping she didn't have Elsie's list.
"This one," Nora said as she shoved it in front of Pito's face.
Unfortunately, Pito was still driving his motorcycle and when she shoved the paper in his face, he began to swerve. He could hear a semi coming at them and just as Nora screamed he swerved back into his own lane, over the edge, and into a ditch.
When he looked up, the duckling was standing there. Laughing.
Pito was mad. He'd crashed his motorcycle and had hit his foot on a rock. Now his toe was hurting. A lot. And the duckling laughed.
"Hey, that's not funny. I hurt my toe," Pito yelled up at him.
"Oh, sorry," the duckling called back. "Nora was just funny flailing like that."
Pito shrugged in agreement. He turned to help Nora from the ditch, but...
SHE WAS GONE!!!
Tune in next time! Until then, be ever attentive!
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Orientation, Part 2
As we previously covered, it was a time of unrest for The Bed. Nora was concerned evil factions wanted her throne. Pito, the Mighty was eating oats, cause that's what llamas do.
Over a late lunch, Pito had listened to Nora's rantings and just decided she was hallucinating and crazy.
It was in the middle of a particularly tasty brownie that Pito saw a young duckling. It had a sweet face and was watching Pito eat his brownie. Just as the llama was about to ask the waiter to help the child find it's mother, the duckling took out what Pito thought was a straw.
As he watched, the duckling lifted the straw to it's beak and took a deep breath. In that instant Pito's thought was, "That's not how you use a straw."
His next thought was, "Where's that duckling's glass of milk?"
Then his thought was, "Duck!" which he shouted at Nora.
"Where?" Nora asked as she started to turn to see the duck.
Pito tackled the lion, rolling them both to safety behind another table as the poisoned dart the duckling shot at Nora landed in Nora's chair.
"Pito! You messed up my dress," Nora whined.
"Later, some duckling just tried to kill you," Pito said as he stood and raced toward the Maitre D stand, only to find a note.
On one side it read:
Your rule will end!!!
On the other was a grocery list.
Peanuts
Peanut butter
Wheat grass
Peanut butter cookies
Something the llamas like
Pito put the note in his pocket. There was only one animal who could be so cruel and evil as to try and bribe the llamas.
Evil Emperoress Elsie!
Until next time, be ever attentive!
Over a late lunch, Pito had listened to Nora's rantings and just decided she was hallucinating and crazy.
It was in the middle of a particularly tasty brownie that Pito saw a young duckling. It had a sweet face and was watching Pito eat his brownie. Just as the llama was about to ask the waiter to help the child find it's mother, the duckling took out what Pito thought was a straw.
As he watched, the duckling lifted the straw to it's beak and took a deep breath. In that instant Pito's thought was, "That's not how you use a straw."
His next thought was, "Where's that duckling's glass of milk?"
Then his thought was, "Duck!" which he shouted at Nora.
"Where?" Nora asked as she started to turn to see the duck.
Pito tackled the lion, rolling them both to safety behind another table as the poisoned dart the duckling shot at Nora landed in Nora's chair.
"Pito! You messed up my dress," Nora whined.
"Later, some duckling just tried to kill you," Pito said as he stood and raced toward the Maitre D stand, only to find a note.
On one side it read:
Your rule will end!!!
On the other was a grocery list.
Peanuts
Peanut butter
Wheat grass
Peanut butter cookies
Something the llamas like
Pito put the note in his pocket. There was only one animal who could be so cruel and evil as to try and bribe the llamas.
Evil Emperoress Elsie!
Until next time, be ever attentive!
Saturday, January 16, 2016
The Llama Retribution Squad Academy
Good Day and welcome to the Llama Retribution Squad Academy Orientation.
You will spend the next five years learning and studying the history and ways of the Llama Retribution Squad. Your job, as future agents, is to preserve this information in your brain for future use. This information could save your life.
We begin our studies with a history of the founding of the Llama Retribution Squad.
It was a time of unrest for The Bed. The peaceful time of Nora's rule was being challenged by evil factions. Nora was determined to hold onto her queendom but knew she needed help. She turned to her most trusted friend, the great and mighty, Pito. She begged for Pito's help, begged for him to gather his trusted llama herd, to train the herd, and to vow allegiance and loyalty to her forever.
After he swallowed the huge bite of oats he'd taken just before Nora began to speak, he looked her in the eyes and asked, "What? I was eating these delicious oats."
Much later in the day, after Pito's post snack nap, Nora managed to convince the Mighty Pito there was a danger and she needed his help. Over a late lunch, that Nora immediately regretted offering to buy if Pito would just listen to her arguments, Pito began to think Nora was having some severe hallucinations and that she was a lot crazy.
It was during dessert that Pito changed his mind...
Until tomorrow's class, be ever attentive.
You will spend the next five years learning and studying the history and ways of the Llama Retribution Squad. Your job, as future agents, is to preserve this information in your brain for future use. This information could save your life.
We begin our studies with a history of the founding of the Llama Retribution Squad.
It was a time of unrest for The Bed. The peaceful time of Nora's rule was being challenged by evil factions. Nora was determined to hold onto her queendom but knew she needed help. She turned to her most trusted friend, the great and mighty, Pito. She begged for Pito's help, begged for him to gather his trusted llama herd, to train the herd, and to vow allegiance and loyalty to her forever.
After he swallowed the huge bite of oats he'd taken just before Nora began to speak, he looked her in the eyes and asked, "What? I was eating these delicious oats."
Much later in the day, after Pito's post snack nap, Nora managed to convince the Mighty Pito there was a danger and she needed his help. Over a late lunch, that Nora immediately regretted offering to buy if Pito would just listen to her arguments, Pito began to think Nora was having some severe hallucinations and that she was a lot crazy.
It was during dessert that Pito changed his mind...
Until tomorrow's class, be ever attentive.
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